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THE PROFESSOR has had a rough time of it, until now, it seems! Running a hospital in Theme Hospital proved to be little challenge, though the salaries involved STILL don’t quite match his expectations, for he still owes the Flaming Monocle over £750,000.00 – surely not too-large a sum for an EXPERIENCED SURGEON! So with that in mind, Dr. Prof. Bastardly, medicine man, dons a pair of rubber gloves and dives in head first into the world of highly experimental surgery.

WATCH IN AWE as one-handed surgeries of the most complex varieties are performed, SHIELD YOUR FACE IN TERROR as said-performances become truly visceral, and EMPTY YOUR WALLETS because charity begins at home.

…enjoy. ಠ_ರೃ

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GET IN TOUCH!

Twitter: @FlamingMonocle / @ProfBastardly

Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/FlamingMonocle

https://www.facebook.com/ProfessorBa

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Join us on Steam:

Flaming Monocle:

http://steamcommunity.com/id/flamingmonocle

Professor Bastardly:

http://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561197986703017

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About Professor Bastardly:

The Flaming Monocle’s number-one henchperson – Professor Bastardly of the department of “Winning video games in completely legitimate ways” – has come out of his cupboard to play some games, with a view to helping the average layperson in completing said-games – in an utterly appropriate, legal and legitimate manner.

Watch and learn the ways of finishing your favourite games in style.

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About Surgeon Simulator 2013:

Release Date: April 19, 2013
Developer: Bossa Studios
Publisher: Bossa Studios

Surgeon Simulator 2013 is a darkly humorous over-the-top operation simulation game where players become Nigel Burke, a would-be surgeon taking life into his own shaky hands, performing life-saving surgical manoeuvres on passive patients.

The original prototype – developed in just 48 hours at the 2013 Global Game Jam in January – challenged players to complete a heart transplant, armed only with an arsenal of clumsy and inappropriate tools and a hand that was diabolically difficult to control, using a combination of keyboard and mouse actions.
The full Steam version comes with additional features, operations and environments. From carrying out terrifying transplants in theatre to surgical procedures in the back of an ambulance, Surgeon Simulator 2013 now takes operating to the next level.

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Music Credits:

“The Cannery”, “Bumbly March”, “Meatball Parade” – Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0

http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

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My advice is this: Settle! That’s right. Don’t worry about passion or intense connection. Don’t nix a guy based on his annoying habit of yelling “Bravo!” in movie theaters. Overlook his halitosis or abysmal sense of aesthetics. Because if you want to have the infrastructure in place to have a family, settling is the way to go. Based on my observations, in fact, settling will probably make you happier in the long run, since many of those who marry with great expectations become more disillusioned with each passing year. (It’s hard to maintain that level of zing when the conversation morphs into discussions about who’s changing the diapers or balancing the checkbook.)

Obviously, I wasn’t always an advocate of settling. In fact, it took not settling to make me realize that settling is the better option, and even though settling is a rampant phenomenon, talking about it in a positive light makes people profoundly uncomfortable. Whenever I make the case for settling, people look at me with creased brows of disapproval or frowns of disappointment, the way a child might look at an older sibling who just informed her that Jerry’s Kids aren’t going to walk, even if you send them money. It’s not only politically incorrect to get behind settling, it’s downright un-American. Our culture tells us to keep our eyes on the prize (while our mothers, who know better, tell us not to be so picky), and the theme of holding out for true love (whatever that is—look at the divorce rate) permeates our collective mentality.

Even situation comedies, starting in the 1970s with The Mary Tyler Moore Show and going all the way to Friends, feature endearing single women in the dating trenches, and there’s supposed to be something romantic and even heroic about their search for true love. Of course, the crucial difference is that, whereas the earlier series begins after Mary has been jilted by her fiancé, the more modern-day Friends opens as Rachel Green leaves her nice-guy orthodontist fiancé at the altar simply because she isn’t feeling it. But either way, in episode after episode, as both women continue to be unlucky in love, settling starts to look pretty darn appealing. Mary is supposed to be contentedly independent and fulfilled by her newsroom family, but in fact her life seems lonely. Are we to assume that at the end of the series, Mary, by then in her late 30s, found her soul mate after the lights in the newsroom went out and her work family was disbanded? If her experience was anything like mine or that of my single friends, it’s unlikely.

And while Rachel and her supposed soul mate, Ross, finally get together (for the umpteenth time) in the finale of Friends, do we feel confident that she’ll be happier with Ross than she would have been had she settled down with Barry, the orthodontist, 10 years earlier? She and Ross have passion but have never had long-term stability, and the fireworks she experiences with him but not with Barry might actually turn out to be a liability, given how many times their relationship has already gone up in flames. It’s equally questionable whether Sex and the City’s Carrie Bradshaw, who cheated on her kindhearted and generous boyfriend, Aidan, only to end up with the more exciting but self-absorbed Mr. Big, will be better off in the framework of marriage and family. (Some time after the breakup, when Carrie ran into Aidan on the street, he was carrying his infant in a Baby Björn. Can anyone imagine Mr. Big walking around with a Björn?)